Friends now dating
" I said, thinking he was just feeling randy, and annoyed that he would risk our friendship on a whim. (Or, at least, MY insecurities.) His writing career was going well, and the work he did interested me. What's more, I was terrified we might ruin the friendship. And I really do think, after all, that the main problem was our lack of chemistry.
But he told me he'd been mulling it over for a while, and he was serious about wanting to give things a go. And not having Jake in my life seemed unimaginably painful. Maybe incompatible phermones are to blame--who knows?
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By that, I mean: Think twice before getting involved with your best friend if either of you are motivated by feelings other than love, longing and desire.
If, instead, the catalyst seems to be a tragedy (like a death in the family) or even a great personal victory (like a big promotion or selling your first movie script), you might want to hold off a month or two, and re-assess then.
celebrate how far you’ve come with her, put down your walls and just be you.
Perhaps this level of connection will blow you both away, regardless of the outcome.
She replies she loves me too but is not sure, if she is ready, claiming she doesn’t know if she can give me the attention I need and that she is very independent and wants to spend time with friends and not answer to anyone.
yet on the other hand, if she’s not ready for the depth of commitment and intimacy you desire, better to find out now rather than go against your truth and values, yes?
If she’s relationship/commitment shy/phobic, best to find out now, yet I do encourage you to have a vulnerable, honest authentic conversations about how you each define relationship, what each of you desire, what each of you would feel contributed to by…
Otherwise, I think the chance of it working out are slim.
THE FACTORS THAT SHOULD BE IN PLAY BEFORE YOU START DATING YOUR BEST FRIEND1) A mutual (and intense) desire--ON BOTH SIDES--to give it a whirl.2) The LACK of some major precipitating event.